Diagnostic for Love

Diagnostic for Love
Photo by Anna Bernard Carson

ROCKWALL/HEATH (February 2, 2014) Valentine’s Day offers a mid-winter respite with its images of hearts and flowers. For me it also recalls my first argument with my then husband-to-be. We both fell short of the ideal on that day of love many years ago. I was rude; he was irritable.

The Apostle Paul’s words about love caution Christ-followers not to neglect the quality even greater than faith. His “love chapter,” 1 Corinthians 13, opens with a warning about excelling in faith, knowledge or giving without having love. We “gain nothing” he says, if we don’t have love.

We often hear the nearly poetic verses four through seven recited at weddings. Knowing the bride and groom selected them assures us they’re off to a good start. But those verses serve as a diagnostic for any of us whose relationships are hurting. Reading them for self-application can be like rubbing ointment on a wound—it smarts for a while, but healing is on the way.

“Love is patient and kind,” says verse four (ESV). Paul packed a double punch there. And those virtues are related; if we don’t have one, we probably don’t have much of the other. He does it again in his next words: “love does not envy or boast,” this time pairing vices, ones we might not think affect the quality of our relationships. (Counselors could tell us they do, but Paul told us first, and without a fee).

“Love is not arrogant or rude,” he goes on to say. Does this mean that arrogance is connected to rudeness? That’s something to ponder, as well as their antonyms: humble and considerate.

Paul continues to bust our bad behavior in verses five and six in order to save our relationships—if only we’ll listen. “[Love] does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.”

In verse seven he challenges those who might have good cause to give up on a spouse or loved one: “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

I’m happy to report we’ve had no more Valentine’s Day quarrels over the decades of our marriage. But when our relationship is pale or feverish, we can look to God’s Word for a remedy, beginning with 1 Corinthians 13.

Patti Richter

By Blue Ribbon News special contributor Patti Richter of Heath, a journalist who writes news and feature stories, book reviews and more for Christian publications.