Rockwall, TX (February 6, 2025) – Love is “a many-splendored thing,” according to an old book/song/movie title. Those who have fallen in love will agree. But there is one facet of love that makes a person ill: lovesickness. This could be due to distance, or a break-up, or else that northern exposure side of love that leaves you out in the cold—unrequited love.
Most of us have experienced unreciprocated love at some time. A young man pines for a girl who’d rather wait for another guy who already has a girlfriend. Or a perfectly good friendship suddenly grows cold after one person expresses romantic feelings to the one who wishes to remain “just friends.”
Unrequited love is not limited to romantic relationships. A new student needs a friend but meets with disinterest at every attempt. A mother spends time and resources on a child who does not appreciate her sacrifices. A son or daughter cannot win the approval of a demanding parent.
Growing up in a large family, I craved more parental attention. As a pre-teen, I tasted unreturned affection, but I also dished it out to others. I turned down the ID bracelet a nice boy wanted me to wear, hoping instead that the math whiz in our class would notice me (but he never did). Another boy cried when I returned his initial ring to him.
In marriage I found enduring love. But at one point I felt my husband’s cold shoulder. With some gentle probing, I discovered that I was the one who’d gone missing. My responsibilities with our home and kids and other commitments had distracted me from providing the attention my husband needed.
Later, after our family’s out-of-state move, I met lukewarm responses as I sought new friends. Most of the women in my age bracket weren’t looking to expand their social circles. I eventually learned to befriend those who, like me, were new to the area.
The unrequited love we may face is the stuff of novels and movies. It’s also a main theme of the Bible—from beginning to end. Cain believed that God favored his brother, Abel. Yet it was Cain who had turned away from God by showing little desire to please him. With patience and mercy, God asked Cain, “Why are you angry…? If you do well, will you not be accepted?” (Genesis 4:6, 7*).
Through the Old Testament prophets, God laments his unreciprocated love for those who were lukewarm and unfaithful. His words warn us of chasing worldly pleasures in place of seeking him; they also point to our need for a Savior. The New Testament holds the cure for waywardness: Through Christ, God reconciled us to himself (2 Corinthians 5:18).
Some are separated from God because they have chosen to reject his ID bracelet—the Son sent to save us. Others may desire God’s favor but feel he is uncaring or distant. Yet it’s actually the unwillingness to obey God that strains our relationship with him. Isaiah 59:1, 2* says, “Behold the Lord’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save, or his ear dull that it cannot hear; but… your sins have hidden his face from you.”
If anyone understands the sorrows of unrequited love, it is God. Isaiah 1:18, 19* says, “Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord, though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow…. If you are willing….”
Anyone who desires to be with God forever can find one final invitation on the last page of the Bible. Revelation 22:17 says, “Come!”
*English Standard Version
Patti Richter writes and edits Christian faith articles and has co-authored Signs of His Presence: Experiencing God’s Comfort in Times of Suffering.
Read more of her essays at BlueRibbonNews.com.
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