Rockwall, TX (January 9, 2024) – “Na-na-na-na boo-boo. I’ll be with Jesus before you.”
My mother-in-law sang that little ditty to me in our final phone conversation. She had just accepted hospice care, and, knowing I was crying, she tried to make me laugh.
Marion, who I always called Mom, made me laugh for most of the 45-plus years I knew her. But our relationship didn’t begin so promisingly; she wasn’t sure I was the right one for Jim, her firstborn, to marry.
Jim and I had been close friends at college for two years but then suddenly announced our engagement—with a wedding day set for six weeks later. This caught his mother off guard since she and I barely knew each other. Further, Marion’s five other children included a three-year-old, so she had the challenging circumstance of “losing” Jim while still raising her family.
Those things I understood, but I personally felt Marion’s disapproval, too. She had grown up in Chicago in the 1930s and 40s; she loved fashion and all things fine. She attended St. Mary’s College, across the street from Notre Dame, where she met my father-in-law (who died in his 60s). In contrast, I was from Arkansas, raised by less sophisticated parents who considered Little Rock a big city. Fashion was not my priority and I had little experience with the finer things in life.
The saving grace for us all came from above. On the winds of the Jesus movement of the 70s, Marion became a born-again Christian. Through her influence, Jim, as a college sophomore, also came to faith. He and I met the following year, and he invited me to a Bible study, which led to my faith in Christ. All three of us were growing in our knowledge of God and his instructions, such as, “Be kind and compassionate…, forgiving one another” (Ephesians 4:32*), and “Honor one another above yourselves” (Romans 12:10).
My relationship with Jim’s mother was strengthened during the times she came to help out after our three children arrived, and later, just to spend time with our family. Marion loved cooking healthy meals, and I enjoyed letting her take over in the kitchen. And, as I said, she made me laugh.
Having been raised by immigrant parents, Jim’s mother had stories to tell, along with all the right accents, expressions, and mannerisms. Further, there were some English words she could never quite pronounce correctly. (Her humorous antics also provided me with insight concerning my husband’s personality.)
Marion’s penchant for making people laugh may have been a coping mechanism. (Proverbs 14:13 says, “Even in laughter the heart may ache.”) She had experienced the pain of childhood rejection by her physician father, who spent time away from home during WWII and grew emotionally distant afterward. The wounds to her soul were alleviated by her faith but never completely healed. Yet her assurance in God’s love kept her from hopelessness during some difficult seasons.
At age 50, Marion was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Her doctor removed a football-sized tumor, ordered chemotherapy, and gave her six months to live. She endured treatments but also asked the elders at church to pray for her healing, according to James 5:14. She then proceeded to live for another 40 years.
Marion gradually became more of a mentor to me than a mother-in-law. She encouraged me and many others to seek God daily through Bible study and prayer—without forgetting to wait and listen for guidance. She hoped to be remembered mostly for this one legacy: “She was led of the Lord.”
*NIV Bible
By Patti Richter. Patti writes and edits Christian faith articles and has co-authored Signs of His Presence: Experiencing God’s Comfort in Times of Suffering (March 2019). Read more of her essays at blueribbonnews.com/category/faith.
Patti Richter, On Faith: How I came to love…my mother-in-law added by Melanie M on
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