Kukka by Sally Kilgore: Rumination

Kukka by Sally Kilgore: Rumination

Rockwall, TX (October 4, 2023) – What fortune to have a birthday in autumn!  Though the past days have belied it, we inch closer to fall weather. Mornings are pleasant on the patio. Shaded from the sun, I can soak in the beauty of the revivified fall garden and watch the chaotic antics of the hummingbirds that are still enjoying the bounty. One of these hummers has been carrying on a tweeting tirade for six minutes now, without ceasing. Even Bob Kilgore has lifted his furry head from a morning doze in the sun to find what all the fuss is! Perched atop the Possumhaw Holly, the tiny bird exhibits Napoleonic tendencies.

I have just marked my sixty-fifth birthday. Sixty-five feels an odd number, somewhat of a rude awakening. Sixty-five is a life marker, a watershed. Receiving my Medicare card means attaining senior status. My brain does not feel like a senior citizen (except during those moments when I cannot remember words, names, what I did yesterday…) I especially like it when people say “What? You don’t look sixty-five!” My body aches more, and I tire sooner these days of my life. My spirit feels the same. Not true. My spirit feels better! Solid, whole, happier.

The past couple of years have seen us vested in our home, the new home phase is through.  Dust has settled atop the cabinets! The garden is established, and I continue the work there. I’ve had more stone areas set in on the sides of the house, planting beds, pathways to walk; all adding character to our place. I have a good landscape contractor who does the heavy jobs for me. He arrived to check on some work this past summer, and as he walked across the lawn he commented “your yard always makes me smile” – a compliment that sticks with me!

Each spring and summer let me know which plants need to be moved, and those that don’t thrive are replaced. Far from a stagnant, completed setting, my yards and garden see change and improvement with each year. We’ve had a large patio cover built this summer which has greatly improved the usable area in The Mildscape.  In this small yard, you’d think the opposite, but it all seems expanded out here now, and we certainly enjoy more time here, sheltered from the sun.

Indoors we are quite happy with our spaces, there’s not much more major decorating to be done, other than a couch with a somewhat shabby character (thank you Bob Kilgore!) that will need recovering at some point. The guest room is still geared towards the grandkids, it makes me happy that they occasionally still refer to it as “my room.” They are growing older, and at some point, the toys will dwindle down. That process began this summer as I passed down some beloved toddler toys and books to a friend for her grands. I don’t think I will ever want to erase nor remove the chalkboard that the babies used constantly, to play restaurant. The menus changed weekly as they played, and they remain precious reminders for me. For now, I don’t think guests mind being surrounded by bookshelves filled with children’s literature, fairy figurines, trucks, helicopters, and baskets of wooden blocks. The room will grow up sooner or later! Now my brain is beginning to ping with thoughts of new paint; most of our rooms are still enveloped in builder off-white. Perhaps some wallpaper in the laundry, mud room or guest bath. I’ll have to break those thoughts to The B.O.B. gently, over time.

In this sixty-fifth year, I look for a mix of enjoying the life we’ve built and seeking new shores. Overcoming trepidation and stepping out further from my comfort zone. I find myself balking a bit at reaching out into new ventures, though I’ve moved from that comfort zone in the not-too-distant past with success. I’ll have to do it again to reach some goals that churn within. It’s so much easier to remain comfortable but I don’t want to stagnate.

Who knows what waits around the corner?

I will continue to work at shedding worry, experiencing the joys, rolling through the bad, soaking in the contentment, reminding myself to keep moving forward and letting my light shine. I will embrace the wholeness surrounding me, as this home does, with comfort, filling me for the journeys. Spreading whatever rays of light that I can along my way, I’ll bumble on, leaving the worthless bits aside and gathering all the bounty.

Meanwhile, there is carrot cake in the kitchen, leftover from the birthday party, calling for me.

All of this, AND CAKE!!

Sally Kilgore is a resident of Fate, Texas, transplanted from Rowlett, across the lake. She is married to her long-time flame, Judge Chris Kilgore, (aka The B.O.B.) When not writing, gardening, filling in at the local flower shop or hanging out with grandkids, Sally devotes her time to serving Bob Kilgore, a well sized, Tuxedo cat with panache. You can contact Sally at SallyAKilgore@gmail.com , and please visit her website: SallyAKilgore.com