Friendship isn’t about whom you have known the longest…it’s about who came and never left your side, states an anonymous author. This is true of Carolyn Keane and her good friend Kerri Bergerhouse.
The two women met about 20 years ago at First United Methodist Church of Heath. They were so close that they even scheduled their annual mammogram appointments together. However, when Kerri’s sister was diagnosed with breast cancer, Kerri began participating in a medical research study related to breast cancer in siblings. Since the study provided mammograms, Carolyn and Kerri could no longer make their appointments at the same time, and Carolyn got remiss about getting her screening.
In June of 2009, Carolyn received a sort of wake-up call when her father-in-law died from pancreatic cancer. She decided to go in for her overdue mammogram at Medical City, because she had been worried about a lump in her left breast. The x-ray showed an area of concern. A follow-up sonogram was ordered, and a subsequent biopsy was performed July 29.
“After the procedure, my doctor came back and said that everything was fine–that it looked really good. But after the lump was analyzed, it was determined that there were cancer cells present.”
Kerri remembered the day she found out Carolyn had cancer. “She just looked at me, and I could already tell that something was wrong, and I knew I wasn’t going to like it.”
Carolyn was scheduled for a lumpectomy on September 5. Her surgeon, Dr. Alison Laidley, came in after the surgery and said that she had been unable to get all the cancer cells out of the left breast. In addition, pre-cancerous cells had been discovered in her right breast. Her doctor recommended a mastectomy.
As Carolyn tries to read aloud from her journal to help recall the events leading up to her mastectomy, her eyes well up with tears. Her dear friend, Kerri, tells her to just breathe and reads the entry aloud for her.
“I’m so very scared,” she wrote in her journal three years ago. “Do I really have that much cancer? Could it be fatal? Where is God in all of this? Please strengthen me for the struggles ahead.” She worried about her husband. She prayed that they would be able to grow old together. She regretted that breast cancer was the trait she had inherited from her mother, instead of a talent for cooking. She worried about having a part of her body cut off and having it replaced with something artificial. She debated having a single mastectomy versus a double-mastectomy.
“I talked to everyone who would listen, including my minister,” Carolyn remembers. “He reminded me that what I was doing would enable me to have a longer life with my husband, John, and our sons: Dylan, David, and Shaun. I realized that if I had just a single mastectomy, I would have five or more years of massive worry ahead of me and still have the same results. I decided to bite the bullet and have a bi-lateral. I’ve never regretted it.”
Her surgery was scheduled for October 5. Dr. Laidley would perform a double-mastectomy, and her plastic surgeon, Dr. John Antonetti, would insert expanders into her chest to assist with future reconstructive surgery. “I started crying when I had to sign the paper stating which procedures I was having done, because you really go through a type of mourning when you feel you are about to lose what defines you as a woman. Everyone is being very comforting, but I’m still scared,” Carolyn wrote in her journal.
Her husband threw a party for her and about 10 of her girlfriends a few days before her surgery, so Carolyn could laugh and cry and prepare for the battle she was facing. Kerri was there, of course, and she also came to the hospital to be with her the following Monday. The initial procedure went well, but Carolyn had complications when a hematoma developed, and she had to go back into surgery later that night. She was able to go home Thursday evening.
Carolyn was overwhelmed with the amazing amount of love and support she received from family and friends during the ordeal. She received over 75 get-well cards,12 bouquets of flowers, and countless meals and gifts from church members, family and friends. “My husband was a saint,” she announced. “John was always there to hold me and give me the strength to endure. And all three of my sons were there for me, helping to keep my spirits up.” Her good friend, Kerrie, helped her with laundry, since she wasn’t allowed to lift anything heavy, and fixed her grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. “Comfort food is best at times like these,” Carolyn smiled. During her ordeal, she learned that she needed to take care of herself and let her friends and family worry about the details in her life for her, even though sometimes it was hard to accept the help.
“My advice to anyone facing cancer or who has a loved one battling the disease is to rely on God. My favorite bible verse is Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength,” Carolyn emphasized.
Recovery was a series of ups-and-downs. Medication helped with the pain, but it was hard not to accidentally bump the drains that ran down the sides of her body and had to remain in place for three weeks post-surgery. She would have good days when she would do too much and then would have a few bad days as a result of the overexertion. She was excited when the drains were gone, but surprised by the acute pain she experienced when Dr. Antonetti filled her expanders with saline. The jubilation of hearing that she would not need chemotherapy or radiation was dampened when she learned she would need to take estrogen blockers which would throw her into menopause. In addition, Carolyn had to have an additional surgery when fluid built up in her left breast, causing intense pain and infection.
It took Carolyn a while to recover physically, as well as mentally. “Because of my family, because of my friends, because of my church, I was able to laugh my way through it. I remember my father saying that a day without laughter is a wasted day,” Carolyn reminisces.
She advises anyone facing cancer or who has a loved one battling the disease to rely on God. Her favorite verse from the bible is Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”
Carolyn’s church, First United Methodist Church of Heath, has a proud history of supporting Relay For Life. Their team is named Walkers of the Light and has come in first place at the American Cancer Society’s signature fundraising event, earning over $10,000 each year for the last five years. In 2009, the team captain Judy Holder asked Carolyn if she would be co-captain. Carolyn recalls tearfully accepting the position saying, “I am so glad you asked!” Since then, she has taken over as captain and has recruited Kerri as her co-captain.
Although Carolyn made it through her ordeal with breast cancer, she continues to be proactive. She considers herself to be “the luckiest person in the world,” since she is a double-survivor. During a routine colonoscopy, a polyp and precancerous cells were removed.
Carolyn will be walking the Survivor Lap at the Rockwall County Relay For Life at Cain Middle School on April 26, with her family and good friend, Kerri, cheering her on.
For more information about Relay For Life, go to www.relayforlife.org/rockwalltx.
Submitted by Mary Thacker.
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