Owning our emotions

ROCKWALL, TX. (July 28, 2014) Victor Frankl in Man’s Search for Meaning writes about our freedom residing in the space between stimulus and response. Your child hits you.  Your freedom lies in the space of time between being hit, the stimulus, and your response to being hit.  That moment contains your power to choose how […]

Once a father, always a father

A father’s level of involvement has lasting effects ROCKWALL, TX (June 5, 2014) A young man said to his mother one day, “Mom, I am not more manly because you didn’t read Wild at Heart by John Eldredge.”  He continued to explain what his take on Eldredge’s book was: he was born to be a […]

The heart of relationships: effective communication

June 25, 2014- To know who our children really are, we need to observe our children at work and play.  J Krishnamurti, the Indian philosopher, wrote that the highest form of human intelligence is observing without evaluating. The more I observe the more I understand Krishnamurti.  Observation and evaluation serve us best as separate activities.  […]

Relight the candle

Five-year-old Tommy walked over to his mother, Judy. ‘Write my name for me, Mommy.” “Tommy, you know how to write your name.” “But I don’t ‘member,” he said. Tommy’s mother, Judy, phoned me, near tears, about this conversation.   Judy’s concern was that Tommy had forgotten something as seemingly simple as the three letters in Tom. […]

Pull an art box out of your art

May 27, 2013 –  “I’m so bored.  There’s nothing to do.”  The-Rainy-Day-It’s-Too-Hot-Summer-Blahs.  Every year the blahs hit, and every year parents and grandparents wish they were more prepared. Get ready by having a special art box organized and ready to pull out on short notice.  For a small investment, about the cost of taking four […]

When life seems out of control, take baby steps

(December 3, 2012) One of my go-to comedies, a movie that never fails to make me laugh and always helps me have an attitude adjustment, is What About Bob? with Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfuss.  The book, Baby Steps, figures prominently in the plot.  Baby Steps outlines Dr. Leo Marvin’s (Dreyfuss) therapy to help his […]

When we belong, we’re important

October 17, 2012 – We all need to feel like we belong.  And the most important place we need to feel like we belong is in our families.   It is from our family relationships that we build relationships within our schools, our churches, our neighborhoods and our communities…and beyond. According to Rudolph Dreikurs and Alfred […]

How setting limits creates freedom, allows creativity

At a neighborhood coffee, Cheryl announced that she had stopped eating sugar.  Several women gasped at the thought. “But that’s so limiting,” said one. Cheryl smiled and said, “Actually I find the limitation is quite freeing.  I don’t worry any more whether I should eat something or not.  Drawing the line at no sugar has […]

Welcome mistakes, be friendly with error

“Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment,” read the sign in the gift shop.   The sign reminded me of what I’ve learned about errors:  since mistakes are at the forefront of learning, it is best if we can be friendly with error and welcome mistakes for the learning opportunities that they […]

Do you know who your children are?

Summer nights right before the news there was a public service announcement: It’s 10 o’clock, do you know where your children are? What I’d like to hear today is this:  Do you know who your children are? When parents or grandparents contact me asking for advice about how to handle a child who is being […]

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